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How to Handle the Endless Excuses: Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Strategies

Writer's picture: Paige LeGaultPaige LeGault

Ah, bedtime. It can be the sweetest, most peaceful part of the day—until the excuses start rolling in. If you’re a parent of a toddler or preschooler, you’ve likely heard every reason under the sun why they can’t go to sleep just yet. From needing one more hug to suddenly being thirsty (again), bedtime stalling is a common challenge for parents. So, how can you manage these endless excuses and help your child settle into sleep without frustration?


In this blog, we’ll explore practical strategies to manage your toddler or preschooler’s bedtime stalling, ensuring that both you and your child can enjoy a restful, calm evening.



Why Toddlers and Preschoolers Stall at Bedtime


Before diving into strategies, it’s essential to understand why toddlers and preschoolers resort to excuses at bedtime. Their imaginations are developing rapidly, and their newfound independence makes them want to assert control over their environment—including when and how they go to sleep. Combine that with the fact that toddlers thrive on routine and predictability, and you’ve got the perfect storm for bedtime resistance.


Common excuses you might hear:

- “I need a drink.”

- “I have to go potty.”

- “I’m not tired.”

- “Just one more book.”

- “I need another hug/kiss.”


The good news? You can effectively manage these excuses by setting clear expectations and using simple strategies to guide your child through their bedtime routine.


1. Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations


Start by setting clear bedtime expectations. Before the routine even begins, explain what’s going to happen next. For example:


“Tonight, after we read one book, you’ll go potty, get a drink of water, and then get into bed for your goodnight hugs. Once the lights are off, it’s time to rest.”


Be consistent with these expectations every night. Toddlers thrive on routine, and setting these boundaries helps reduce confusion about what’s expected of them.


2. Introduce a "Bedtime Pass"


If your child loves to use multiple excuses to get out of bed, consider implementing a "bedtime pass" system. You can give them one or two "passes" each night, allowing them to use the pass for an extra drink of water or another bathroom trip. Once the pass is used, no more requests are allowed. This approach gives them a sense of control while limiting the number of excuses they can use.


3. Create a Visual Bedtime Routine Chart


Toddlers and preschoolers respond well to visual cues. A bedtime routine chart can help them understand the steps they need to follow before bedtime. Include tasks like brushing teeth, putting on pajamas, reading a story, and going to the potty. As each step is completed, they can check it off the chart, providing a sense of accomplishment.


Not only does this give them structure, but it also minimizes stalling by showing them exactly what’s left before bedtime.


4. Offer Choices


Another way to manage bedtime resistance is by offering choices, which helps toddlers feel like they have some control over the routine. For example, you could ask:

- “Would you like to wear your dinosaur pajamas or your truck pajamas tonight?”

- “Do you want to read one or two books before bed?”


By offering limited choices, you’re empowering them to feel in charge without derailing the bedtime process.


5. Address Basic Needs Ahead of Time


Many bedtime excuses stem from genuine needs, like thirst or needing to use the bathroom. To minimize these excuses, make sure your child has met their basic needs before the routine starts:

- Offer a small sip of water before brushing teeth.

- Take a bathroom break as part of the routine.

- Make sure their sleep environment is cozy and comfortable.


Addressing these basics upfront can reduce the need for multiple requests after lights are out.


6. Create a Calm Down Time Before Bed


Transitioning from an active day to bedtime can be challenging for young children, so creating a calming bedtime routine can help. Spend at least 15-20 minutes engaging in quiet activities like reading a story, doing a puzzle, or dimming the lights and talking softly about their day.


This "wind-down" time helps signal to your toddler’s body and mind that sleep is coming, making it easier for them to settle down when the time comes.


7. Stay Consistent with Your Responses


When excuses arise, it’s crucial to remain calm and consistent. After you’ve addressed a legitimate need (like going to the bathroom), gently remind your child of the bedtime routine and what comes next. Repeatedly giving in to excuses reinforces the stalling behavior.


If your child continues to get out of bed, you can calmly walk them back to bed with a simple statement like, “It’s time for sleep now. Goodnight.”


8. Use Positive Reinforcement


Celebrate your child’s success when they stick to the bedtime routine. Use positive reinforcement, such as stickers or extra cuddles in the morning, to reward them for staying in bed without too many excuses.


Positive reinforcement can encourage them to follow the routine consistently over time, making bedtime smoother for everyone.


Consistency is Key


It’s important to remember that toddlers and preschoolers thrive on routine and consistency. The more you stick to the bedtime routine and boundaries you’ve established, the fewer excuses your child will feel the need to make. While it may take time, patience, and persistence, you’ll soon see improvements in your child’s ability to settle down for bed.


By offering structure, clear expectations, and a calm environment, you can manage bedtime stalling with confidence—and enjoy more restful nights.

 

If you’re looking for more personalized tips and guidance on managing toddler and preschooler sleep challenges, book a Sleep Evaluation Call with one of our certified specialists at Parenting Practice of Colorado. We’re here to help you and your little one rest easy.


Ready to tackle those bedtime excuses? We’ve got you covered!

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